Wait!

Someone just asked me why I mentioned roast chicken and new potatoes... ummmmm... because that is THE Easter meal duh!

Seriously, is that just my tradition?

love a very confused yet indignant Livy xx

My thought of the day

I really, really want to be a Gilmore Girl. I mean, they seem to have so much fun, they talk fast plus you could be called Rory - an EXCELLENT name for a girl, plus she is the hotness. Yes, that is my new aim.

ps. loving the four day week! Bring on the chocolate, roast chicken and new potatoes! Not all together.

Oh he's a Love Machine

Hello faithful readers, how are your Mondays? As a quick aside, doesn't that phrase make an awesome euphemism for boobies? I may use that from now on.

I feel I have been rather absent recently. I apologise, I have big plans to make the blog more user friendly and fun and, of course, this will involve blogging more. So yes, that is le plan.

Wedding plans are progressing well, thank you for asking! I have started the search for my dress (look out for more on this in an upcoming post), have got the photographer and even been to the florist (that was v fun, my daffodil idea did not go down well....) so the next thing on the list is bridesmaid dresses.

I want my lovelies to be super confident and happy in what they are wearing and, while I want them to look 'together' and like a group (not in a popstar way although that would also rock), it is important to me that they are individual because, well, they are.

Steve doesn't quite get this so, while he was fixated on Girls Aloud in concert, I tried to explain:

Me: Now see that is what I mean, see Girl's Aloud?

Steve: (his vision not budging) Mmmmmm

Me: See what they are wearing?

Steve: Yeeeeeeessss

Me: That is what I want for my bridesmaids.

Steve: (Turning to me for the first time) Black pvc, mini lacey outfits? (Brightening slightly) Really?

Me: No. I mean that there is a very obvious theme but they are all slightly different.

Steve: (Staring back at the screen with intent) Sssssh, the girls are dancing.

His obsession with adverts continues part 3

Back with the third and final post.

Glee is over (BOOOOO!) and I get up to get a drink, the new Dyson advert arrives on the tv. Already I know Steve will have a comment, he hates the Dyson man at the best of times.

Dyson man: I have spent my career investigating the best ways of vacuum cleaning.

Steve: Must be a laugh a minute.

And so, lovely reader, I did get my drink, and I then went to bed, leaving Steve mumbling away at the television, safe in the knowledge that he believes that he, of course, is a better spot remedy, broadband provider and hoover maker than anyone else in the world.

His obsession with adverts continues part 2

The next break come on, the new BT advert comes on:

Advert narrator: BT are rolling out fibre optic broadband across the UK.

Steve: How very big of them.

His obsession with adverts continues - Part 1

A treat for you, this will be the first of three updates this afternoon detailing the lovely Mr Steve's vocal appreciation of adverts, all of which occured last night. Yep.

All your Christmases have come at once eh?

So installment one:

We are watching Glee (YEY!!). It goes to the break. While I, a normal person, drift off into a little fantasy about Puck, Steve stares intently at the screen.

Advert narrator: Have spots? Tried everything? Now try something different!

Steve: If you have tried everything then how can you try something different.

The ad continues, the go to 'real people' who have tried the product and loved it.

Red haired girl: I had tried everything (cue loud cough from Steve) when someone told me to try the new Clearasil programme. It is amazing, I feel totally fantastic.

Steve: Shame you're still ugly then.

Pop in at 3pm for Part 2

This is what I live with

Steve got in from football, he is immediately cross as, due to him already limping I foolishly requested that he not play football for two months before the wedding.

In the middle of his sulking the new Windows 7 advert comes on, it is the one where the man is buying a present for his wife and is able to delete his website history with a new Windows feature so she doesn't find out.

This riles Steve considerably and he goes into yelling mode, directed totally at the TV:

"YOU ARE LOOKING AT PORN NOT BUYING HER A GIFT. YOU TRAGIC, TRAGIC LIAR OF A LITTLE MAN!"

He then flounces off to the kitchen, he returns with one of the fairy cakes I baked yesterday (aren't I good to him?).

Me: Is that another fairy cake? Why haven't you eaten one of the chocolate chip ones I made? They are yummy.

Steve: (after a long pause) The chocolate chip ones could have done with some icing, I'm just saying.

He is now in the shower, which I have accidently turned to cold...

For the love of all that is quacky

I am having trouble sleeping. That is that I did not sleep at all on Sunday night, on Monday night, on Tuesday night, on Wednesday night. I mean literally not at all. My head is too full of fires, of escaping, of business and stuff that I can't describe. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not scared when thinking of these things (well once... but that was a pretty specific thing), my head is just... full... and busy.... and just too complex.

So, night after night after night, I have just laid there, thinking, obsessing, trying very hard to sleep but never quite achieving it. Suffice to say I am quite a mess at the moment, I am uncoherant, tired, confused.

Last night, I was so tired that, after an hour of lying there, resigned to the fact that this night would be like every other, I drifted off, pure exhaustion took over and I slipped into blissful, needed slumber.

At 1.02am I awoke. There was a noise. Since the fire I am somehow super aware of alien noises and smells, I sat upright, suddenly alert. I located the noise to outside my window, content that it was not a burgler/fire/murderer/evil clown coming to get me, I gingerly peered out to the river beneath.

It was a duck.

A sodding duck.

In all the madness of the last month, I had somehow forgotten that spring is Duck Time. All the boys ducks are trying to shag the girl ducks, chasing them around and annoying them all night long. It is basically like a Year 11 school disco.

This leads to ducks of either sex squarking and honking and basically being incredbily noisy.

So now I have another reason not to sleep.

Hoo-bloody-ray.

He lies, I sound awesome

I'm back at work! Hoorah! And amazingly am still thrilled to be here. I am slightly missing my new friends Holly and Phil but c'est la vie!

Anyway, last night, exhausted from work, I settled down to watch the repeat of last week's Friday episode of American Idol (which will be known as Merry Idol forth hence) - I had had to miss it on Friday due to watching the Welsh Six Nations game in which they were between by the French. The c***s.

I love Merry Idol, I have blogged about this in the past, it is for want of a better word, AWESOME.

The only thing that is concerning me this year is the sponsor, Silent Night. I have no issue with Silent Night, I am sure they make super cosy beds but their little logo things are a hippo and a duck. In bed.

Am I to believe that this hippo and duck are together? How would that even work? Logistically I mean. Could the more imaginative among you enlighten me please?

Now, while Merry Idol is indeed my favourite, it is not Steve’s. He hates it with a fiery passion.

Do I care? No.

Why? Because a fortnight ago I jumped forty feet from a burning building so frankly he should just be grateful I’m here. (Yes, I am still using that excuse and plan to for the foreseeable future).

Anyhoo, last night I am enjoying my Merry, super happy as I know when it finishes that 1) I will get my Glee fix and 2) the Chinese takeaway will arrive. I sing along with Ashley Rodriguez’s version of Leona Lewis’ ‘Happy’.

Me: (singing) ‘And I just wanna be HaPPPPPPPYYYY!’

I stop, look at my beloved and think about all the beautiful love songs there are in the world.

Me: What would you say if I said I was going to sing to you in front of everyone on our wedding day.

Steve: (without even pausing) Don’t.

I laugh out loud.

Steve: I’m serious.