And I studied linguistics

My friend Ben, taught me a Portuguese word once - the only one I know - safado. He said it meant 'lazy'.

Yesterday, while Facebook-chatting with a guy who just got back from Brazil, I endeavored to impress him with my knowledge of his second language. He cracked up (LOLed, if you will) a lot more than I would have expected from someone hearing the word 'lazy' in Portuguese . . . and then he informed me that, actually, it means 'man-whore'.

So I finally get why my friend John-the-Marine's Brazilian girlfriend didn't warm to me much (at all, really) when I met her. It's probably not wise to call yourself a man-whore in your first encounter with somebody. Particularly if you are not, in fact, a man-whore, but rather a betrothed woman who used to go out with her boyfriend.

Also, Ben? YOU ARE ON MY LIST.

Running Commentary

Today I am mainly:

Loving the whole political debate ruling the country at the moment. Plus it gives me the chance to wear my 'Vote Barbie' t-shirt that I had made during the 2001 election.

Adoring Britney for releasing unairbrushed photos of herself along with the 'official' ones to exemplify the pressure on women to look good. Although it makes me sad that she doesn't actually look like that as it means that no-one does. And I still want to! Does that make me insane?

Laughing at the fact that butchers in Sainsburys have been told that are no longer allowed to use knives in case they cut themselves.

Loving the fact that Charlotte from my favourite wedding site Rock My Wedding commented on my blog! Seriously, I screached like a small child. Check out their totally amazing site: http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/

Being outraged at the Daily Mail in general - propoganda much?
Fantasising about my tea as my cereal for breakfast and lunch diet has gotten dull very quickly.

Oh and pretending to work.

Help wanted

What has happened to clothes? Really?


I am not a big shopper (except when it comes to shoes, two wedding pairs and counting), this is mainly to do with becoming completely frustrated at things not fitting right. Ever.

Anyway, recently I ignored my fears and embarked on a long overdue shopping expedition. And I was shocked at what I found.

Body suits? Leotards? Seriously?
When did the 80s come back in? Why would anyone ever want to wear a body suit? They aren’t flattering and it takes you a year to go to the loo as you have to unpop the bastards! WHY???

Disillusioned I came home, convinced that I would be able to revamp my wardrobe with a good sort and possible some ribbons. Unfortunately it turns out that this is not possible due to my wardrobe being sparse and me sucking at sewing.

So this is where I ask for help. Jeans are much needed. My favourite pair are starting to wear thin and my second favourite pair have a pocket ripped off due to jumping out of windows (we do not talk about the third favourite pair, they are in tiptop condition but are a size 6. And I will not throw them out…).

Anyone care to give me some advice? I need something quality (since I don't buy jeans all that often) and that isn't too stretchy. I'm not into skinny jeans, since I most likely can't actually GET into skinny jeans.

Oh, and on that note, if your thighs don't touch in the middle at all, your advice is not needed.

Oh to be happy

Today is my favourite day of the whole year. Yes, that's right; it is Cute Tot Day in the local paper. Today the paper has printed a special supplement, 22 pages of photos of infants, complete with their names, all asking to be the city’s bestest baby.

Now, in order to explain why I love this so much, I must reveal a slightly embarrassing fact:

I am obsessed with names.

There, I've said it. I always have been, I can tell you the meaning of the majority of names used in the UK as well as where they rated in the popularity stakes in the last year. I even have a special chart that I order from the UK Office of Statistics each May. Yep. Seriously.

Anyway, the paper cutest tot contest allows me to read some of the BEST names ever (around 1386 to be precise). And believe me, there are some spectacular ones! There was the year of the twins, Tia Maria and Jack Daniel, there was the year of Beaurigard-Harriet McKinley-Warrington and this year, only three pages in, I have found Summer Bangs, LaToya Coggins, Alexander Ander and Kennedie Butter.

Please don't misunderstand me; I am not judging these babies or their (perhaps misguided) parents. They love their children very much I am sure. It is just fantastic to be able to see the imagination and genius that goes into naming.

But seriously, I would love to be called Kennedie Butter! It's BRILLIANT!

A few days off just provided another excuse for him...

That's right, to analyse more adverts.

Comments recently have included:

While watching the Halifax advert,

"I hate these idiot ads! I don't care if they are real employees - they are shit. Employ a cocking actor! There are enough of them about!"

In reaction to the Ryvita 'They're not good, they're GOOD!' advert,

"IT IS THE SAME WORD! You can have 'They are not bad, they're good' or 'They're not good, they are great'. That is all! Stupid cardboard food."

And, my personal favourite, his thoughts on the Betty Crockett's Devil Chocolate Cake advert,

"I want that cake, it looks amazing."

The little boy on the screen looks up and says,

"I 'specially like to lick the spatula"

Steve mists slightly and then, with major enthusiasm,

"Me too!"

And the picture? Well that is just my Easter gift to you! Loves! x

Wait!

Someone just asked me why I mentioned roast chicken and new potatoes... ummmmm... because that is THE Easter meal duh!

Seriously, is that just my tradition?

love a very confused yet indignant Livy xx

My thought of the day

I really, really want to be a Gilmore Girl. I mean, they seem to have so much fun, they talk fast plus you could be called Rory - an EXCELLENT name for a girl, plus she is the hotness. Yes, that is my new aim.

ps. loving the four day week! Bring on the chocolate, roast chicken and new potatoes! Not all together.