Today

= suit fitting for my Dad.

Twas very stressful. Honestly I have never known anyone be so vain about their neck size. This is a brief transcript....

Dad (emerging from the changing room, in booming voice to the entire shop): Everything is fine. Except my collar on the shirt. I ordered a 17" and this isn't one. It is definitely a 16".

Assistant: OK Sir, but I am sure it is a 17", I checked them all myself.

Dad (staring the poor woman directly in the eye): It isn't. I have ALWAYS been a 17" and this is too tight!

Assistant: Right Sir... sometimes people need a bigger size than normal because it is a high wing collar so sits higher on the throat....

Dad: My upper neck is the same size as my lower. 17". Since I was 19.

Assistant: OK... well lets get it off you and we can see. We can always go up a bigger size if it is more comfortable.

Dad: That won't be necessary. I just need a real 17" shirt.

Fastforward five minutes when my Dad brings out his shirt (still topless by the way, totally and utterly appropriate....).

Assistant: Sir, this is actually a 17" shirt but it is not a problem, I will just switch it to a 17 and a half inch one.

Dad: That was not a 17" shirt. I am positive! A 17 and a half inch one will be too big!

And so it went on. In the end he admitted defeat and left muttering about how an inch was no longer an inch.

But all is not lost, I picked up a copy of the local paper, purely for the Valentine messages and not only found some super hilariously slushy ones but also one that makes absolutely no sense:

You and I are like wallpaper; we get better every day.

Anyone make any sense of that? Anyone? x