So it was a mistake putting my mobile number as the RSVP on the invitations for my Nana's 90th Birthday party.

Some of the conversations I have had today....

Me: Hello

Random Man: Hello, who is this?

Me (confused): Well, you called my phone, so who is this?

Random Man: I don't want to say but I can come to the party.

Me (even more confused): Right....

Random Man: You know, the party, on Sunday, for the birthday.

Me: Ah! Right, yes. Great, well, we'll see you there. What is your name?

Random Man: I'd rather not say, but I live at number 8. Oh, and are presents necessary?

Me: No, not at all. We would just love you to be there to celebrate with us. No presents required!

Random Man: Well she is getting one. (Hangs up)

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Me: Hello

Random Woman: Hello, is that Livy?

Me: It is! Is it about the birthday party?

Random Woman: Yes, I am Beryl from Number 12. We only moved in a month ago, we were so pleased to get the invitation but unfortunately we are unable to come as we are seeing friends on Sunday.

Me: Oh what a shame, thanks for letting me know.

Random Woman (continuing as if I hadn't spoken): Well, I say friends, my husband used to work with the gentleman in 1976, or was it 1977, and since them we have met up for lunch on occasion. It will be only the second time I have met his wife though; the last time we met up she was in Abu Dhabi for some reason. I think it was Abu Dhabi - somewhere exotic and foreign anyway, and I said it was a shame as the time before when she did come was lovely. We went to a gala dinner and had a lovely time. I am not sure if she is coming this Sunday though.

Me: Well I hope you have a lovely time.

Random Woman: We will. I have only met your grandmother once, it was a few weeks ago and I was going to the chemist for some reason, oh yes, I think Alf needed some aspirin - he has a bad heart and the doctor recommended it, I wasn't sure but you don't question medical professionals do you? Anyway, I saw your grandmother at her door so I went and said hello. She was lovely, I am amazed she is 90. What a great age and she doesn't look it. It is such a shame we can't come. Will you be doing cake?

Me (in a bit of a daze): Cake? Yes, we have ordered one.

Random Woman: I love a nice piece of cake. Victoria Sponge is my favourite. It has been so lovely talking to you, do you live locally?

Me: Ummm.... fairly.

Random Woman: Well I will tell your grandmother how nice and chatty you are.

Me: Thank you. Have a lovely weekend.

Random Woman: You too! Bye.

Me: Bye.

Random Woman: Bye bye

Me: Bye

Random Woman: Goodbye and god bless.

I hang up.

It may be a long few days....