Friday, 15 November 2013

He takes after Great Nana in stubbornness

I come from a long and prestigious line of stubbornness.

I have always refused to give in on 99% of things, my mother will swear black is white if she needs to, my Nana cut off her nose to spite her face on more than one occasion and my great nana? Stories about her were legendary.

It was thought that, with each generation the stubbornness got significantly lesser so I had hopes that my child would be comparatively normal.

Not so.

Rex absolutely distraught that I wouldn't let him eat all of the chocolate eclairs in Sainsburys. Life is hard for him.

This morning Rex presented me with one of his favourite books, it is basically an encyclopaedia of animals with lots of bright pictures.

He turned to the page of the jungle animals.

He pointed at one.

Rex: Dog

Me: No baby, it is a cheetah.

Rex: No, dog.

Me: No, cheetah.

Rex: No, dog.

Me: No, cheetah.

He started to get cross.

Rex: Nooooooooo! Dog!

Me: Rex, it is not a dog. It is a cheetah.

Rex: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Dooooooooog!

Me: Listen, right now, I know more than you and that is definitely a cheetah. Or possibly a leopard. Or a jaguar....

Rex shut the book, stood up and went to play with his xylophone.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

He is available for kids' parties

I am a sucker for adverts.

I laugh at them, I cry at them. I have been known to argue with them.

So, it was with eager anticipation that I awaited the Christmas John Lewis ad. What can I say? I am sad and I have a one year old. Advert porn and a growing wine consumption is all I have. Having seen it online, I was eager to show it to Steve. I don't know why, he hates that sort of thing and then berates me for loving it. Glutton for punishment.

Picture the scene; Steve and I are at the lower end of a bottle of wine, the baby had gone down to sleep remarkably easily which meant, of course, that he had woken up and, in our slightly tipsy wisdom, we had decided that, rather than try and settle him, we would bring him downstairs and let him sleep on the sofa/us. Of course. So, we are uncomfortable on the sofa and, in the middle of Most Shocking TV Talent Show Moments (Chico on X Factor... LOVE IT!), it came on!

Me: This is it!

Steve: Cartoon bear?

Me: Yes! Concentrate!

We watch in silence. The advert ends, I turn to Steve, hope written all over my face.

Steve: I was really expecting a hunter in there at some point.