Tuesday, 25 May 2010

OK.... if you haven't watched (that is you Lola and Dan) look away now.

The finale. I LOVED it. L-O-V-E-D. It was absolutely brilliant and amazing and completely satisfying to me. I was up at 5am, in my jammies, bacon butty and popcorn at the ready. It was early yes, but I was invested plus, the idea of shirtless Sawyer for the last time was a chance not to pass up. So yes, at 7.30, I was happy, it was fabulous. However, it has come to my attention that not everyone thought this. There are only two reasons that I can think of that could explain it:

1) You were not actual Lost fans and wanted the elusive 'answers'


2) You are stupid and didn't fully understand (if you truly didn't get it then I apologise for calling you stupid. You are, but it is mean of me to say so. Don't feel bad, some of us have smarts, some of us don't. I am sure that you have your own talents and if not then I'm sure your Mummy loves you anyway.)

Me, being the charitable soul that I am, decided to write down the actual conclusion of Lost. Aren't I nice?

So here it is:

Season 1 - They all crashed. All the characters we knew and loved the last 6 years DID NOT DIE HERE! I repeat, they did not die here. Everything that happened on the island is real. REAL.

Season 2 - Stuff happened.
Season 3 - Stuff happened.
Season 4 - Stuff happened.

Season 5 - Stuff happened.

Amongst this stuff, lots of people died!

Season 6 - More people died. At the end, the Hurley is the new Jacob, the new protector of the island. He may be there for thousands of years, but eventually he will die. Ben is his sidekick, the new Richard, he may be there for thousands of years, and eventually he will die. Desmond is with them, but Hurley will get him off the island because he is the new Jacob, he has powers. Eventually he will die.

Jack died (with Vincent, Matthew Fox's dog in real life, laying next to him, it was so sad and also, I want that puppy, I would call him Skittle). Kate, Claire, Sawyer, Lapidus, Miles and Richard all flew off the island. Let's assume they lived happily ever after, but eventually, they all died too. Everyone dies! That's life for you, death and taxes are the only two sure things, as my 91 year old Grandad so aptly puts it.

Now this is where the opening of Season 6 starts, once everyone is dead. They are all in a form of purgatory, one they themselves created. It all begins in the plane because this is where the most important part of their lives began, where they met the most important people they would ever meet, Oceanic Flight 815.

Problem though is, they are dead but not at peace. They all can't move on. They all miss each other. There are too many stones yet unturned. Too many sins not atoned for.

Charlie tried to kill himself, but he couldn't die because he was already dead! When he saw this, he then had a flash of what meant most to him while he was alive . . . Claire. He opens the door for Desmond, and Desmond opened the door for everyone else. Every person had to realise what they all had been through, the giant adventure. They had to see all the sacrifices they made, all the things they did, the HELL they went through, and they had to see it together. Jack was just the last one to figure it out in the afterlife (in my opinion because he too lacks the smarts).

Ben couldn't move on just yet. Having Hurley give him a thumbs up and Locke forgiving him wasn't enough. He killed his dad, he killed his daughter, he killed all of Dharmaville! He wasn't ready yet, he needed to atone plus he knew that Rousseau fancied him in purgatory.

Everyone else though, they were sitting in the church, much like passengers in the plane, and the two most important people, Jack and Locke, were in the front row, on a flight to their ultimate peace.

That was the TV show LOST! It was an adventure about a group of people who were alone, they had no-one, they were dubbed a tremendous responsibility, and they were all LOST. In the end, after they saved the world, after they made sacrifices, they were all together in the end, no longer alone, no longer LOST.


Now I know, there aren't the 'answers' that everyone wanted. I understand, it is frustrating. But in life answers don't always happen. The Mystical Island is just that, mystical. It is wonderful and confusing and magical and insane. Also, if you pay attention in the last season, a lot of answers are there. The numbers - solved, why Michael isn't there at the end - solved, why the characters already had connections - solved, why Jacob picked out certain people - solved.

And the rest? Well, for me, I like it that the writers have left the less important stuff up to the individual viewer to work out for themselves. The show was about the characters - and each and every character had their story completely resolved.

Livy = satisfied customer.

plus the 'Kiss me James' 'You got it Blondie' bit? BEST EVER!

Monday, 17 May 2010

Words are not enough

Yesterday I met a six year old who doesn't like chips, which is no skin off my nose other than it causes me to lose faith in the human race.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Lost Letters mark 2

because, with three weeks left to go I am still confused!

Dear Jin: YOU DIED! I thought we'd discussed this after the exploding boat fiasco! And you still haven't called.

Dear Sawyer: Being hit on the head was silly and very unmacho. Please immediately take your shirt off to compensate.

Dear Kate: You are starting to piss me off with all your pouty whining. Plus your name was already crossed off so I have kind of lost interest in you.

Dear Claire: Loving the bed head look, you rock it.

Dear Baby Kwon: I feel for you, I really do. Firstly your Dad is already dead when you are born, then your mum leaves you to go and find dead dad with no way of knowing if she'd be able to get back. Then, when reunited, both parents die despite one of them having the opportunity to escape. I can only assume that they aren't too keen on you. Sorry.

Dear Desmond: I am intrigued! What is up with you? You can survive massive radiation, seem pretty fright-free and randomly hit Locke with a car - me likey muchos! ps what are you eating while you are in the well?

Dear Smokey: I am getting pretty bored with you, now don't get mad but you were better when you were Man in Black rather than Locke. Firstly, fitter (MIB lacks the moobs Locke sports) and also, you seemed more ready to smoke it up. As Locke you seem a little tame. No offense.

Dear Richard: I have concluded that you do in fact wear eyeliner, it has amazing staying power since you have been on an island for 200 years. What brand do you use?

Dear Miles: Come back! I miss you!

Dear Ben: I really haven't missed you.

Dear Sayid: Just as I find myself starting to fancy you (it was the all black clothing and the killing of Keamy that did it), you die! Again!

Dear JJ Abrams: I have very much enjoyed the 'Spot the Characters' game you played in the alternate world. The use of Keamy in particular was inspiring. Please continue.

Dear Jim-from-Neighbours: Why don't you tell everyone what you know? They would be more likely to do what you ask then. Wait... do you in fact not really know what is going on yourself....?

Dear Ilana: I shouldn't have laughed but you blowing yourself up like that was F-U-N-N-Y.
Dear Hurley: I don't want to give you a complex, but shouldn't you have really lost some weight by now? You are on an island eating very little (I'm guessing berries mainly) and you are running around talking to dead people all day long. The weight should drop off. Is it perhaps glandular?

Dear Jack: I still don't really like you. I tried. Take the pills again. At least then you had a personality.

Dear Sky: Why the hell are you airing the final double length episode on the same night Sex and the City 2 is released?! What's a girl to do?

My life honestly is revolving around Lost and weddings at the moment, so if you are a fan, please email me so I can discuss. It is only you who can keep me from resorting to the Lostpedia...

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

My absence

Hello happy people,

I am sure you have noticed that I have been around rather sparsely recently. There is a reason for this. Not one I can think of right now but I'm sure there is one somewhere!

The truth? I have been busy, and slightly (although not very) sick. It is RUBBISH!

Plus, it was election time. This makes me very excited; I got to wear my specially made 'Vote Barbie' t-shirt. Always awesome. But there is a downside to this political excitement and that is that I could not trust myself on the blog in case I did something all too typical of me - tell you what I think. This could lead to comments questioning my views and THAT I CANNOT HAVE!

As you may have fondly gathered by now, I am a muchos opinionated person. I literally have a thought about every issue, every prospect, every event. I can't help it; I even have opinions on entirely theoretical things. So election time is like a feast. I binge on all the articles, the television programmes, the columns and the opinion polls, gobbling them up, consuming them and then offering my (occasionally) well thought out point of view.

This would be fine, a slight annoyance to my nearest and dearest perhaps except, as we've already established, I am always right. Seriously, my views are correct and it will upset me greatly if you don't agree with them or worse, if you dare to have a different one. I cannot understand it how people may think differently to me when my thoughts and views are clearly the right ones. I honestly think that I understand how to solve things better than anyone else (and I'm not talking little, where-should-we-go-for-tea issues, no more how-to-solve-the-world-economy issues. Now my methods may not always be kosher - segregating the world based on ugliness for example - but I swear to God they would work!). This may sound ridiculous and I can hear you now, 'She is obviously exaggerating for comedic effect.'

I wish.

No that is actually how I operate.

So the best thing you can do when I offer an opinion/rant? Listen intently and then utter these words:

"You are entirely and completely right."

Doesn't matter if you think that is really the case; I don't care if you bitch about me later. I truly don't. If you like you can add a bit about my potential prowess as a world leader, it isn't necessary but would be much appreciated.

And my political views? You don't get that information without a cocktail and a crumpet x

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Because sometimes God doesn't like you

Every day when I come into work I pass a lady on the stairs, I always pass her on my way out as well and can generally expect to see her around the corridors during the day.

I thought I recognised the woman from one of the PAs' offices. Yes, very quickly I identified her as K. I work in a very large college, there are like 30,000 learners and 3000 members of staff, as you can imagine, the place isn't very personable.

So, in an effort to change this, after a while I started to do the smile recognition thing when we passed, and about a week ago I upped it into actually saying hello. She always looked slightly confused but positively beamed back.

As it happened, a project meant that I had to email K several times last week and yesterday, when I saw her on the stairs, I thought I would ask her about them, did they all make sense etc...

K looked at me blankly.

I repeated what I said.

She blinked back and then slowly,

"I sorry, I not understand. English new."

Turns out that the woman was not actually K but one of our ESOL learners, new to the College and indeed the country.

And the real K? Yep, she looks nothing like her.