Wednesday, 12 May 2010

My absence

Hello happy people,

I am sure you have noticed that I have been around rather sparsely recently. There is a reason for this. Not one I can think of right now but I'm sure there is one somewhere!

The truth? I have been busy, and slightly (although not very) sick. It is RUBBISH!

Plus, it was election time. This makes me very excited; I got to wear my specially made 'Vote Barbie' t-shirt. Always awesome. But there is a downside to this political excitement and that is that I could not trust myself on the blog in case I did something all too typical of me - tell you what I think. This could lead to comments questioning my views and THAT I CANNOT HAVE!

As you may have fondly gathered by now, I am a muchos opinionated person. I literally have a thought about every issue, every prospect, every event. I can't help it; I even have opinions on entirely theoretical things. So election time is like a feast. I binge on all the articles, the television programmes, the columns and the opinion polls, gobbling them up, consuming them and then offering my (occasionally) well thought out point of view.

This would be fine, a slight annoyance to my nearest and dearest perhaps except, as we've already established, I am always right. Seriously, my views are correct and it will upset me greatly if you don't agree with them or worse, if you dare to have a different one. I cannot understand it how people may think differently to me when my thoughts and views are clearly the right ones. I honestly think that I understand how to solve things better than anyone else (and I'm not talking little, where-should-we-go-for-tea issues, no more how-to-solve-the-world-economy issues. Now my methods may not always be kosher - segregating the world based on ugliness for example - but I swear to God they would work!). This may sound ridiculous and I can hear you now, 'She is obviously exaggerating for comedic effect.'

I wish.

No that is actually how I operate.

So the best thing you can do when I offer an opinion/rant? Listen intently and then utter these words:

"You are entirely and completely right."

Doesn't matter if you think that is really the case; I don't care if you bitch about me later. I truly don't. If you like you can add a bit about my potential prowess as a world leader, it isn't necessary but would be much appreciated.

And my political views? You don't get that information without a cocktail and a crumpet x

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