Monday, 24 September 2012

And we muddle through...

One of the must have baby things we have discovered are muslin cloths. They are basically squares of material that we use for just about everything Rex related - wiping up sick, draping over our shoulders to catch sick, putting under his head to stop sick getting on surfaces.

Did I mention that Rex likes to be sick?

Good job he is super cute.

Anyway, before he was born we had only three of these miracle cloths, within three days of being home (and approximately 11 washes), we realised we needed more.

So off Steve went to Tesco, the hub of cheap baby products, there, he searched the aisles.

The muslin cloths were nowhere to be found, not in the baby aisle, not in the clothing section, no, so he approached a helpful Tesco employee...

Steve: Excuse me, I was wondering if you could tell me where you keep your muslins?

Tesco man: Ummm... I'm sorry sir?

Steve: I am looking for your muslins, where do you keep them?

Tesco man: Well we don't 'keep' them to start with and I can't really tell you anymore, you may need to speak to a manager about your enquiry and why you need to know.

Steve (getting exasperated now): What? Why? All I want is to buy some muslin cloths for our new baby!

Tesco man: Ohhhhh! Muslin cloths! Sorry, I thought you said Muslims! The muslin cloths are with the home furnishings, third aisle on the left.

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

And I gave birth to his child a fortnight ago...

This morning I came downstairs after a lovely baby free lie in after a hideous baby full night.

Steve and Rex were on the sofa. MTV was on loud and Steve was making Rex dance to Girls Aloud.

"We are having a party!" Steve shouted.

He had that slightly manic look of someone who had been alone with a newborn for a good few hours with no-one to talk to.

I gave him a kiss.

"Thanks for the lie in Mr, I feel soooo much better."

"No problem," Steve replied, "Did you know that you aren't allowed to say 'drunk sex' in a song? That song by the red lipstick girl was on, the how we do one."

"Rita Ora?" I interjected.

"Yep, anyway, it was on and she was allowed to say 'drunk' and 'sex' but not together, evidently 'drunk sex' it just too naughty."

"How bizarre", I observed.

"I know right, especially for you, I mean, isn't that what you specialised in at uni?"

Monday, 10 September 2012

The first adjustment

I am a big fan of cards.

I send a lot, I buy a lot, hell, one of my favourite places to browse is Paperchase; window shopping for cards? Awesome is the word you are looking for.

Anyway, one of the things I love the absolute mostest is receiving cards. It is for this reason that I love birthdays and Christmas and it is the only thing that stopped me plunging into a deep grump after our wedding.

Naturally, I have loved all the cards that Rex has got. There are lots.

In fact there are so many now that I am actually jealous.

You see, I have always been in the firm belief that you should aim to receive as many birthday cards as your age, so if you are 30, you should aim for 30 cards, 8 for your 8th birthday etc.... Therefore Rex was onto a no fail situation, being 0 and all. I mean, one would be a success for him, 10 an absolute triumph.

He currently has 54. And I have had messages from friends and family saying that they are still sending them.

For my last birthday, I received 26; I turned 28. This meant I had to go out and buy myself two cards. It was sad in every meaning of the word.

Two weeks old and my son has more friends than me...

Saturday, 1 September 2012


I had to go with the cheesey traditional title!

This is Rex Arthur Nye.

He is very little and very scrummy.

He was born on Monday at 22.59 and weighed 8lb 10.5oz.

We are suitably obsessed with him as he is frankly awesome.