Thursday, 13 May 2010

Lost Letters mark 2

because, with three weeks left to go I am still confused!

Dear Jin: YOU DIED! I thought we'd discussed this after the exploding boat fiasco! And you still haven't called.

Dear Sawyer: Being hit on the head was silly and very unmacho. Please immediately take your shirt off to compensate.

Dear Kate: You are starting to piss me off with all your pouty whining. Plus your name was already crossed off so I have kind of lost interest in you.

Dear Claire: Loving the bed head look, you rock it.

Dear Baby Kwon: I feel for you, I really do. Firstly your Dad is already dead when you are born, then your mum leaves you to go and find dead dad with no way of knowing if she'd be able to get back. Then, when reunited, both parents die despite one of them having the opportunity to escape. I can only assume that they aren't too keen on you. Sorry.

Dear Desmond: I am intrigued! What is up with you? You can survive massive radiation, seem pretty fright-free and randomly hit Locke with a car - me likey muchos! ps what are you eating while you are in the well?

Dear Smokey: I am getting pretty bored with you, now don't get mad but you were better when you were Man in Black rather than Locke. Firstly, fitter (MIB lacks the moobs Locke sports) and also, you seemed more ready to smoke it up. As Locke you seem a little tame. No offense.

Dear Richard: I have concluded that you do in fact wear eyeliner, it has amazing staying power since you have been on an island for 200 years. What brand do you use?

Dear Miles: Come back! I miss you!

Dear Ben: I really haven't missed you.

Dear Sayid: Just as I find myself starting to fancy you (it was the all black clothing and the killing of Keamy that did it), you die! Again!

Dear JJ Abrams: I have very much enjoyed the 'Spot the Characters' game you played in the alternate world. The use of Keamy in particular was inspiring. Please continue.

Dear Jim-from-Neighbours: Why don't you tell everyone what you know? They would be more likely to do what you ask then. Wait... do you in fact not really know what is going on yourself....?

Dear Ilana: I shouldn't have laughed but you blowing yourself up like that was F-U-N-N-Y.
Dear Hurley: I don't want to give you a complex, but shouldn't you have really lost some weight by now? You are on an island eating very little (I'm guessing berries mainly) and you are running around talking to dead people all day long. The weight should drop off. Is it perhaps glandular?

Dear Jack: I still don't really like you. I tried. Take the pills again. At least then you had a personality.

Dear Sky: Why the hell are you airing the final double length episode on the same night Sex and the City 2 is released?! What's a girl to do?

My life honestly is revolving around Lost and weddings at the moment, so if you are a fan, please email me so I can discuss. It is only you who can keep me from resorting to the Lostpedia...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I never thought I would agree with this opinion, but I’m starting to see things differently.