Tuesday, 10 April 2012


"And how is baby today?"

The midwife smiled at me.

"Kicking away", I smiled back.

"And Mum?"

And that is when I nearly punched her in the face.

I had forced my smile through clenched teeth when she had missed the definite article and referred to the baby as just 'baby' but referring to me the person to me myself with no-one else in the room really made me squirm.

I know, I know, I am being slightly unreasonable. The, otherwise lovely, midwife was just trying to be a bit more personable but seriously, I am not three! The baby is a he (did I tell you that?) or it or 'the baby', I am 'you'.

Also, please don't refer to me as preggo or preggers ('up the hilary' or 'knocked up' is fine though) and don't ask about my hubby (bleeeeeeurk).

And, just while we are at it, I eat vegetables, not veggies; I like chicken sandwiches, not sarnies; please don't get me a crimbo prezzie and spag bol makes me feel physically angry (but I love spaghetti bolagnaise and would be delighted if you made it for me).

And if you follow all that then, natch, it will be totes amaze :)

Stern Puppy agrees with me. So there.


KatieE said...

That just made me laugh out loud Livy as the MW does the same to us!

Congratulations on finding out what you're having. His he going to be the next centre forward for City? We couldn't find out as its legs were tightly crossed!

Fellow mummy to be (also generally known as Katie) x

Dawniepopsies said...

I like your blog! It actually reminds me a bit of mine! x

Peridot said...

Sooo simpering and patronising. I had a doctor who shortened my name once - without my permission - I nearly ripped her head off.

As for pregnancy terms, I pariticularly dislike "fallen pregnant" as it always sounds to me like 'I was walking down the street, minding my own business your honour, when I tripped and fell on an erect penis'. Ludicrous....