The first holiday post

Oh yes! The first one! I am going to attempt to put them in the order in which they happened (holi-betical order if you will). I thought about just doing one massive post but I know you don't have massive attention spans - aren't I good to you?

Oh wait, S has just pointed out to me that 'holi-betical order' is actually just 'time'. He can be quite pedantic can't he? Besides, my word is better.

So here we go:

We flew from Manchester after staying in the worst hotel EVER. Honestly, while we were at dinner they gave our room to someone else! With our stuff in it. Luckily for us it was a little old couple and not some sunhat and bikini loving kleptomaniac. Anyway, yes, after waiting three hours in the airport in which time I managed to buy 11 magazines and a pair of Gucci sunglasses (S bought a bottle of water), we finally boarded and settled in for the next nine hours.

I chose to watch 'Marley and Me' on the in flight entertainment. Mistake. Sobbing uncontrollably at 30,000 feet because a fictional dog died is not good. I got some weird looks from everyone near me. Then chose to watch 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Mistake. Laughing out loud at 30,000 feet when wearing headphones is not good. The weird looks continued.

I got out of my seat on this flight which is remarkable for me. I usually get so comfy and cosy that I just hole up, I once did an 11 hour flight to Canada without moving but this time, no, I got up once in the nine hours and even braved the disgusting little toilet with the ferocious flush (seriously, why? If you accidentally pressed it while still on the toilet then you would probably get sucked in and flung into the sky). Personal growth people.

We arrive in Dominican Republic, endure an hour long coach ride while being told that there are no driving regulations, you can drive at any age, don't need a license or insurance and you can drive after alcohol. I pull my seat belt tighter to me.

We check in to the hotel - very purty and, as a bonus, I am given a cocktail on arrival. We arrive at our room, I check out the minibar and optics straight away, Steve goes to see where are bags are. The phone rings, it is lovely little Spanish man on reception.

Me: Hola.

Reception: Hello, are your Mummy and Daddy there?

Me (please remember I haven't slept for 27 hours at this point): No, they are in England.

There is a long pause.

Reception: Are you there by yourself?

Me: Yes... why?

Reception (getting more and more confused): Are you alright by yourself?

Me (very confused and fuzzy at this point): Yes... I'm fine, I've found the minibar and am having a beer on the balcony.

There is another pause.

Reception (very slowly): How - old - are - you?

Me (equally slowly): Twen - ty - five.

See, we got off to a good start didn't we?