Wednesday 22 April 2009

'The long awaited wedding post' or 'A day out with my grandad'

OK, apologies for the lack of wedding post before now. I am rubbish. In my defence I have been very busy with... stuff. Important stuff like people's birthdays and sick boyfriends ('I'm too ill to eat... well, I could probably manage something if you cooked...') and umm.. watching Lost and Heroes.

Anyway. The Wedding.

Let me start by saying that there have not been many weddings in my family of late, therefore when they do happen they are VERY exciting. The most recent family weddings have both been concerning relatives on my Dad's side.

Around 18 months ago my cousin Becky was married in Inverness, myself, S and my father all attended, it was a fab day and night and a great chance to catch up with relatives we don't see that often (the previous time being a funeral, which lets face it, is never going to be a laugh a minute), this time it was my cousin Amy's wedding in Durham.

Amy, Becky, myself and my sister Alex were very close growing up, there are three years in between each of us and we had countless holidays where we invented languages, put on plays and teased our families. Then we grew up (as apparently everyone does) and gone were the family holidays and we were left with the occasional phone call and the family grapevine (you know, when you hear from a parent what a relation has done, not an actual grapevine. That would be weird).

Anyway, Amy and Gary's wedding... this time there was going to be full Kerridge family attendance, my 90 year old grandfather declared that he would come to this wedding having missed Becky's. Indeed for Becky's he wrote a letter entitled 'Reason's why I can't go to Becky's Wedding', number 2 was 'I may die on the way and that would spoil the day for everyone'.

The morning of the wedding arrived and S and I ate and dressed in our best (with only 3 changes I might add) and waited for the frantic phone call from my Dad to say he was here. He arrives and we pack ourselves into the car, have all our music selections vetoed by him in favour of a track entitled 'Two Margarines on the Go' and we are on our way.

We pick up my Grandad (who by the way, is refusing to wear a suit, rather a 'sports jacket') and immediately calls S 'Scott' which is not his name, rather the first name of Becky's husband and the surname of Amy's. The journey continues in a barrel of fun with a story from my grandad about how he built the cogs for some sort of bridge in Middlesborough.

We arrive, the place is gorgeous, the weather holding out and we settle in the lounge area before the ceremony. My dad, sister and S decide to go to the bar. I am left with grandad. There is an awkward silence. I say that it is a lovely day. Silence. I ask what he and my grandma's wedding was like. He mentions a double decker bus. I decide to move on.

The ceremony is beautiful, Amy looks stunning, all lit up and happy. As is often the case in wedding ceremonies, you have to stand and sit and certain times, it is all going beautifully when during the ACTUAL marriage my grandad declares loudly 'It's no use, I have to sit down, I can't hear what they're saying anyway'.

We come to the line up, we all shake hands and greet each other. My auntie Mary mentions to S that she only sees him at weddings and wouldn't it be nice if there was another one soon. S nearly faints.

The meal, it is all going swimmingly until my grandad decides to examine his fork and discovers that it is NOT 0.10 steel as is usual in cutlery but 0.18! He tells everyone on the table and then shouts over to my Auntie Mary on the top table to inform her.

There is a lull between the main course and the dessert. My grandad takes this opportunity to stand in front of the top table and sing. People look confused.

We mingle with guests, my dad says we should get going. I persuade one more drink and we get to talk with the happy couple. My grandad offers to sing again.

We leave far too early and I sulk as I wanted to dance (mentality of a 4 year old me). As we drop my grandad off, he offers cold potatoes and corned beef to me, my sister and Scott. I remind him that that is not my boyfriend's name, we are living together and have been for three years, I wish he could get it right. There is a pause. I say that I hope he will one day come to mine and S's wedding. Another pause and then,

'Oh Livy, no-one will buy the cow when you are giving away the milk for free.'

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