So tonight my work place is hosting a 'real ale' festival. Don't ask what makes the ale they are serving real. I mean, they would hardly serve imaginary ale would they? I have the exciting task of 'supervising' this event which means I'm not allowed to do anything fun such as serving the drunk people, no, it is more a 'what if the boiler breaks' type of role.
At first I was very disappointed as they serve no wine, no vodka, no gin.. not even a cheeky reef. No, apparently these 'real ale' people are prejudice towards nice drinks. So with my two free tokens (more on how I got these later) I have had to drink..... CIDER. Now, I am a cider virgin, no park bench teen foolrardalry for me, no. Technically I have had that yummy Jacques fruit cider but, lets be honest, that is more ribenna than anything else. I have found that cider tastes what I would imagine wee to taste of but you know, I deliberately picked an organic cider so I could count it as a fruit portion.
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes... how I got my free tokens... the man who runs the 'Real Ale Festival' is a very... large man. So large in fact that I am quite amazed he manages to stay upright, he has obviously put a lot of time and effort into his belly. Kudos to him. We got off to a bad start as he immediately called me the 'Big Girl'. Now, I am not large as in a... lots of pies large, but lets say I am top heavy. Drastically so. I had a few words but no know avail (big girls don't talk evidently). So imagine how thrilled I was when I found out that while big girls don't talk, they do get free tokens. Only two mind as he is a 'business man'.. in his jogger bottoms and extra large t-shirt.
So here I am, enjoying my wee cider and waiting for 11pm to roll round. What time is it now...? 21.47... time for another I feel!
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