Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Because sometimes you can't catch a break

Honestly, it stands to reason that if you wax warm and fuzzy as you write about sleeping one day and how lovely it is, you will have the worst night's sleep of your life that night.

Because: your boy will not be ready to go to bed when you are, and will instead sit in the bedroom watching Family Guy at full volume.

Because: when he finally DOES turn the tv off, he will want to read Jeremy sodding Clarkson and will use his little night lamp to do so.

Because: when you finally fall asleep, he will start tossing and turning because his back hurts.

Because: when he tosses and turns, he'll throw the covers off you (every time), making you cold.

Because: when you're cold and trying to get warm, you'll snuggle up to him, which will bother his aching back and cause him to push you away. Repeatedly.

Because: you will be baffled and a little hurt, since you won't know that he's in pain and you'll just think he's suddenly become the Antisnuggler. Plus you'll still be cold.

Because: his back pain will get so bad that he starts to whimper, so that you finally ask him what the eff is going on. You will offer to get him nurofen and he will decline.

Because: ten minutes after initial decline, just when you were dozing off again, he will decide he does want the drugs after all. You will go creaking through the cold flat in your skivvies to get them.

Because: at 5:45 a.m., when you are FINALLY drifting back to sleep, the phone will ring. You will lurch up to get it, nearly passing out from sleepy lightheadedness and imbalance only to find that it is your Dad asking if you know when your sister is getting home on Thursday. You will say you do not but if he calls back at a more appropriate hour, ie not in the middle of the night, you will find out.

Because: the phone thing will be repeated half an hour later. The same scenario will ensue only this time your Dad will be indignant as, in his mind, 6.00am is most definitely the morning and therefore why am I asleep.

So now I've told you all the truth, gotten the annoyances off my chest, and can hopefully get over my grumpiness and exhaustion and get on with my day.

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