Monday, 13 September 2010

Some tips

Today I thought I would give you some excellent (and some not so excellent) tips:

Tips that deserve the title of Very Useful:
  • When putting a duvet cover on, use pegs to keep the corners in the corners.
  • When cooking sauces, add frozen vegetables to it and then mush them in so they are undetectable. Steve will then not moan about them. I'd imagine this would also work with small children.
  • Life is too short for ironing. No-one ever looked back on their life from their death-bed and thought, if only I had done more ironing.
  • Clean everything with white vinegar. Yes, everything will smell of vinegar but I think it smells nice. I really don't care if you do.
  • If you are about to jump out of a burning building, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, throw your phone out first. You will not find it amongst all the bushes for ages and will be seen as a lunatic by the nice policemen trying to help you.
  • To top and tail string beans easily, do it while they are still in the bag - tip to one side so all the ends line up, chop, then do the same with the other end.
  • Shave your legs with baby oil, makes them super soft.
  • If you're feeling lazy or unmotivated, get showered and dressed, do hair and make-up. Guarantee you'll suddenly feel more enthusiastic about the day ahead. Please note, this does not work if what you are in fact feeling lazy and unmotivated about is getting showered and dressed.
Tips that some people do not believe but I KNOW are correct:
  • If your neighbours are annoying, give them a rude comedy nickname, which you can mutter under your breath every time you see them.
  • If you eat a large quantity of sweet/fatty food, two or three minutes on the exercise bike will balance it out.
  • If you read the first three pages of The Times/Independent then people will think you are super clever and you will be able to comment on everything
  • If you put optics up in your kitchen then you will think it is a good idea to have a vodka and juice (for the fruit portion obviously) every night
  • Don't ring your Nana while drunk. She really won't find it as funny as you do.
  • Don't run when drunk - it only feels fast
  • When drunk and asked to walk in a straight line to get entry to a club, do not pretend you are walking a tightrope.
And finally the most important one of all:

*Don't try and melt your home waxing strips with your GHDs. you will end up with wax on your hair, but not the hair it is supposed to be on.*

Please feel free to share your tips, useful or from experience. Loves loves loves x


Becca said...

Love it!!!

Ooh also - instead of the Times, try the Week. They have bits and bobs from all kinds of newspapers around the world (so you can say things like "well, the New York Times said this, but HuffPo said that"), and a special section devoted to just happy news. :D

I am 100% with you on the ironing. I haven't ironed anything since my teens and I'm just fine.

Ciara said...

I have been converted on the ironing front. I have just got back from hols and done 5 loads of washing. There is a total of 3 items in my ironing basket --- result!
Almost enough to make me get over post holiday blues.

Oh - can you explain how you know the tip about the burning building please missy, sounds like a story if ever I heard one!

anna and the ring said...

My brother would add that you shouldn't leave your sandwich in a burning building, it will make you sad.

Livy said...

That would make me sad also Anna....

Ciara if you click the link on the words 'jumped out of a burning building' on this post then it should take you to the original post.

Need to find a copy of The Week Becca - sounds perfect! x

little moon... said...

I saw the green bean one on come dine with me - i have not been fortunate enough to cook with beans since in order to put this to good use, this saddens me slightly!
I also can verify the GHD/Home wax strips tip - i am an idiot! : )