Some tips

Today I thought I would give you some excellent (and some not so excellent) tips:

Tips that deserve the title of Very Useful:

• When putting a duvet cover on, use pegs to keep the corners in the corners.
• When cooking sauces, add frozen vegetables to it and then mush them in so they are undetectable. Steve will then not moan about them. I'd imagine this would also work with small children.
• Life is too short for ironing. No-one ever looked back on their life from their death-bed and thought, if only I had done more ironing.
• Clean everything with white vinegar. Yes, everything will smell of vinegar but I think it smells nice. I really don't care if you do.
• If you are about to jump out of a burning building, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, throw your phone out first. You will not find it amongst all the bushes for ages and will be seen as a lunatic by the nice policemen trying to help you.
• To top and tail string beans easily, do it while they are still in the bag - tip to one side so all the ends line up, chop, then do the same with the other end.
• Shave your legs with baby oil, makes them super soft.
• If you're feeling lazy or unmotivated, get showered and dressed, do hair and make-up. Guarantee you'll suddenly feel more enthusiastic about the day ahead. Please note, this does not work if what you are in fact feeling lazy and unmotivated about is getting showered and dressed.

Tips that some people do not believe but I KNOW are correct:

• If your neighbours are annoying, give them a rude comedy nickname, which you can mutter under your breath every time you see them.
• If you eat a large quantity of sweet/fatty food, two or three minutes on the exercise bike will balance it out.
• If you read the first three pages of The Times/Independent then people will think you are super clever and you will be able to comment on everything
• If you put optics up in your kitchen then you will think it is a good idea to have a vodka and juice (for the fruit portion obviously) every night
• Don't ring your Nana while drunk. She really won't find it as funny as you do.
• Don't run when drunk - it only feels fast
• When drunk and asked to walk in a straight line to get entry to a club, do not pretend you are walking a tightrope.

And finally the most important one of all:

*Don't try and melt your home waxing strips with your GHDs. you will end up with wax on your hair, but not the hair it is supposed to be on.*

Please feel free to share your tips, useful or from experience. Loves loves loves x