Can you help?

Yep, Steve and I are still (STILL!) debating the honeymoon. We have got it down to a country - the good old US of A (although I am still having pangs for Brazil....) and when we'll go. And we have even got it down to the type of holiday - multicentre - and even two out of the three locations - Hawaii and Vegas but not the third.

So this is where you come in, I am hoping that my lovely readers are well travelled and would like to share their where to gos!

Our trip will comprise of:

4 days SOMEWHERE

7 days Hawaii (at the minute we're thinking Big Island - any tips?)

3 days Vegas

Where shall the somewhere be?

We have the whole of America to chose from!

We have considered the three obvious: LA, New York and San Fransisco.

LA - I'm just not too keen on, I want 'real' America
New York was our first idea but I am just thinking, is four days enough and it is tres expensive, probably worthy of its own holiday the following year perhaps....
San Fransisco - the main contender at the moment. I have been and liked it, Steve hasn't.

But is there anywhere else?

We are open to all suggestions - Mid West? Texas? Alabama? We'll do it! But we want things to do, interesting places to go and a central location.

So come on! Any of you crazy about Memphis or Oklahoma or Salt Lake City?

Big loves x

You better comment NOW!!

I am a pretty immediate person.

If I have an idea and tell someone about it, I want them to respond with an answer straight away. I was about to say before I even tell them but that would be mightily dissatisfying wouldn't it?

Likewise, if I enquire about something, an item I am thinking of buying, a play I may want to go and see, I get extremely annoyed if the company in question doesn't immediately get back to me.

Once an idea is in my head then I want it sorted at that precise moment.

Can I come to Birmingham the weekend of the 12th?

YES I CAN.... what do you mean you have to check if it works for your other friend? I can so lets do it. NOW!

It is the reason I once ended up in Blackpool with no-one to see, the reason I once booked 12 tickets to see Fame and ended up selling 6 of them on Ebay and the reason that my inbox is currently filling up with emails from 102 different Dessy stockists regarding the prices of bridesmaid dresses (anyone want to know the most cost effective place to buy Alfred Sung styles D446-449? Email me, seriously. I have a spreadsheet.).

So, in an effort to curb this habit (because it pisses everyone off. Including me, also, just reading back, why isn't 'habit' spelt like 'rabbit'?), I decided to actively seek out things that would try my patience, things that would make me wait.

So, when browsing notonthehighstreet.co.uk, I came across something I most desperately needed: an apron with the words 'Save Water, Drink Champagne'. I immediately go to purchase it. Now here, I would usually go straight to the 'Next Day Delivery' option. But instead, I pause, I ponder and I move my mouse just a centimetre to the side and click the big button that reads Standard Delivery.

And I feel pleased. I feel all proud of myself, I am obviously nearing full maturity and adulthood. I am feeling so proud in fact that I award myself one star on my reward chart in the kitchen (current categories 'Exercising for 30 minutes' 'Not eating cheese' 'Being generally lovely' and 'Not pinching Steve' - if I get 20 stars a week then I get a chuppa chup lolly; 30 and I get a Sylvanian Families baby).

Fast forward to that evening, I am getting antsy. I have tried to tell Steve about the apron, and, apart for some droll comment about it being of no use whatsoever as I don't cook (he lies!), he seems remarkably unimpressed.

He'll eat his words tomorrow, I gleefully think.

And then I remember.

5-7 working days!

The next day, I deliberately told a colleague the truth; that I didn't need the advert sign off right away, that the deadline wasn't until the following day, that she had time to look over it. No rush.

The day after, I asked Steve if he had sorted out when he'd be finishing work on Saturday so we could go to our 6 month venue meeting. He hadn't. And I smiled sweetly and just asked if he could look into, it being only a week away.

See, progress.

Except, I am now sitting here, new apron on (I accidently called the website and pleaded with them to express it for an inordinate amount on money), emailing the venue to confirm the time after standing over Steve while he sorted out his working day. And the colleague? Yep, she's no longer talking to me after a not so patient, red marked email.

The joy of Steve

Steve is reading the paper.

After laughing at the majority of the headlines, he comes to the personals.

"Shy female seeks experienced males"

He pauses.

"Well she can't be that shy if she's decided to put it in the paper."

The weekend

First of all, can I say a big thank you to you all for the support I got after Wednesday's post. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Seriously, it was so lovely to hear all your kind words and did give me that extra bit of strength and reassurance to know that I would be fine. Oh and Steve has asked me to tell you all that the upsetting issue was nothing to do with him, apparently I made it sound like I'd caught him with a hooker or something. Not the case. Steve is all good. Just so we're clear (acceptable Mr?).

Anyway, today is Friday, all is right in the world again and I am venturing to London tomorrow to see my fire girls for the first post blaze reunion and also to try on the bridesmaid dresses! Ooooohs all around please!

I'll do a post tomorrow about plumbers (mainly because mine has pissed me off) but, as a Friday question, I would like to know two things:

1) What one BRILLIANT BEYOND AMAZING THING you are doing this weekend?

and

2) Whether I should treat myself to a teensy glass of wine tonight, diet be damned?

x

ps Two of my lovely commenters (that I know of) are in the Rock My Wedding's Find a New Jenny competition - good luck ladies! x

Sinking fast (but hopefully bobbing up like one of those buoy things within a day or so)

Today life is pretty rubbish.

I am generally struggling this week, partly because I just am (please tell me you sometimes have weeks like this?) and partly because it is the one year anniversary (totally the wrong phrase) of something tomorrow. Something that I found out, that impossibly changed nothing but also everything and that I am partly still dealing with and struggling with, even though I have been told by several people that I 'should be over it by now'.

But it is never that simple is it.

And, being the chronic over analyser that I am, I am second guessing myself. Should I have dealt with this by now? Should I be over it? Should it have ever mattered in the first place (as one  person told me)? Am I being self indulgent?

And that's just the simple, one layer analysis.

Go a level deeper and there's more. Third guessing if you will. If I am being self indulgent then isn't it technically my right to do so as it is my issue? Can I force myself to be over something when I know deep down I'm not? What right have others to tell me how I should feel?

And fourth guessing, another level further.... What if I am being so self indulgent that I don't see it for what it is and that others are right and that in fact I should be over it? What if by allowing myself to think these things I am stopping myself from dealing with it all correctly? What if those people who are lecturing me and telling how to feel are only doing so because they know more than me about this and are only doing what is best?

There are several deeper, uglier and more confusing levels that I can, and often do, go to to analyse and think on but by telling you those you are likely to become so confused and be sure that I am, in fact, an insane Livy, trapped in the currently not so fun Livy world and believe that I should be labotomised immediately.

Instead I will tell you that, rather than remain calm and just get the hell on with it, I instead decided to fall off the healthy eating band wagon and purchase a sausage and cheese panini.

Doesn't sound nice does it?

It wasn't.

But I ate it anyway. And then felt sick and now feel angrier still at myself.

So, here is the new plan.
Get through today, head down, work hard, go home, try and sleep without any form of nightmares (which is the classic Stressed Livy symptom)

• Tomorrow, wake up, ideally from a lovely night's sleep, more likely tired and stressed, get through the day again, head down, work hard, go home, look forward to sleep and sleep
• Friday, I WILL FEEL BETTER. The day will be over and it is a new year start.

The silly thing is, why does that '1 year' mark even matter? Why, in my head, is tomorrow harder than last Thursday or a Thursday a month ago?

Minds are silly things aren't they? So here is a picture of me, younger and far more stress free (apart from five minutes later when I fell off...).

Hoping to be back with you soon, but sane and fun and much less sucky. x

He's nearly as famous as me

Why is it that whenever I shave my legs I seem to miss my knees? I mean, how is this possible? They are in the middle of my legs

In fact, I remember shaving them each time. Perhaps my knee hair is somehow razor resistant? Or that it just grows like super super fast!

Oooooh, I forgot, anyone watching Pete Versus Life on Channel 4?

You should.

Firstly, it is awesome.

Secondly, remember Lola my lovely sister? Her boyfriend is in it.

Yep, my potential brother in law (prother-in-law if you will) is playing Jake.

And he rocks.

Livy out x

Will the Real Livy please stand up

I have been ill.

Like properly, yuckingly ill.

On Wednesday night I felt a bit wrong, then by midnight I felt a lot wrong and by 3am I was throwing up. Muchos.

It was horrific, I was convinced I was dying and, throughout, the thing that upset me most wasn't the fact I was sure I was about to die.

No.

It was the wedding. We've got it all booked and sorted, I mean, what a waste of money if I went and died.

So I did what any sensible girl would do and decided to find Steve a replacement fiancee he could marry next February instead.

This obviously was a big undertaking and I made my mind up straight away that it would need to be someone I knew and what would be more perfect than one of my bridesmaids?

I ran them all past Steve.

Me: OK, so there's Alex, my sister. Would that be weird?

Steve: This conversation is getting weird.

Me: Fine. Ummm.. Katie is so great and you too have loads in common, I mean, both your Grandmas are called Ivy!

Steve: Both are Grandmas are called Ivy because they are the same Grandma. We are cousins.

Me: That's legal!

Steve gives me a look of pure 'move on'

Me: OK, well Cadi's out as she is only 6.....

Back to my computer looking at photos of various friends...

Me: So that leaves Kazzie, Julia and Laura. Now Laura is so creative and fun and makes the best apple pancakes but she has been known to ask the waiter to pick her food and you get mad at me when I ask only your opinion, let alone the waiter..... Kazzie is the best and works in a publishing agency so would probably get you free books and she can belly dance, oh, but she works in London so it'd have to be long distance. Julia is great and the closest location wise, and neither of you like peas plus she would be a good mummy to our fish... but wait, a lot of her fish have died... maybe my fish babies wouldn't be safe.

I look up. Steve has gone.

Tired, I close my eyes and the next thing I know it is the next day and I feel better. I am not going to die!

I am relieved, not only that my impending death has been postponed but also because finding a replacement me turns out to be a bugger.

Ever resourceful

You know how generally your fingers are slightly thinner in the winter than in the summer?

You do?

Great.

Now forget it as I, ever the freak, seem to have it in reverse.

Yep, my ring was slightly tighter when we first got engaged back in October, I never worried about it coming off. Ever.

Until now.

Recently, it seems looser, more twisty and generally more 'I-could-randomly-leap-off-your-finger-at-any-moment'.

I don't trust it. (Yep, the ring itself, trust Steve to get me one that is cheeky).

Due to Ms Sassy Pants Ring, I've been gradually more and more nervous about it, because it's obviously something I would be really upset about losing.

However I have found the solution!

Floss.

I tied floss snugly around my finger and popped the ring on top.

I've been wearing it like that for more than a day and it works beautifully.

I doubt anyone has even noticed the floss.

At least I hope they haven't......