Thursday, 7 January 2010

For the love of MY boobies

I have big boobies.

I do. It's true. There is no point denying it. Not only are they big but my back is inordinately small. It is a silly combination and one I have rather a love/hate relationship with.

Anyway I tell you this, not for the good of your health, but because it sets the scene for something that happened today.

On Sunday, as I may have mentioned, we are going to Scotland. In anticipation for this I had purchased a new swimsuit from Bravissimo (we have a hot tub in the place we stay - I haven't confused Scotland with the Seychelles or anything). It arrived about a week ago but I neglected to try it on until today.

And that is where I came unstuck. Bravissimo (who are usually awesome by the way) have built in bras in their suits so I ordered the 28GG, my size.

I started to put the swimsuit on. It was slightly tight but I ignored it and powered through. It was when the suit reached my mid thigh area I realised that while my back, and therefore top part of the swimsuit, is 28 inches, unfortunately my thighs and arse are not.

Panicked and desperate, I tried to yank it up. It got as far as half way over my bum and then got entirely stuck.

I flailed about for 10 minutes, trying in vain to get the damn thing off before deciding there was only one thing left to do:

Me: S!!!! S!!!!! S!!!!

S: (Walking into the bedroom) What? Why are you ye.....

He sees me, he smiles, he grins, he laughs outloud.

Me: (Naked top half and with swimsuit jammed over thighs and half my bottom) Stop it! Just help me get it off.

Ten minutes of squealing, tugging and contemplating cutting the thing off me, we eventually to prise it off me. I was free!

S turned to me as he walked out the room:

S: It's a good thing I fancy you.

He pauses. Then, under his breath,

S: Although I don't right now.

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