I should have just grabbed one

Tonight, after tea, Steve and I settled down in the living room. I got on with some work, Steve watched the football. As a very naughty break from the, as yet unsuccessful, starvation diet, we had a buttery crumpet each (how dodgy does that sound, but seriously, my interest at this point is purely carb related). We finished them and both got on with our separate activities.

A little while later, Steve went out the room, returning with two more crumpets, how sweet, I think.

He sits down, smiles at me and eats both.

Me: How unfair

Steve:

Me: I am so hungry

Steve:

Me: After I made you one earlier

Steve:

Me: Oi! Steve!

Steve:

Me: Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!

Steve: (very indignant) What? I'm watching the footb...

He pauses to witness Carlos Tevez shoot from just outside the 18 yard box. He misses.

Steve: Tevez, you selfish fucker, you should have passed it. Greedy bastard.

Me: You can hardly talk can you, eating my crumpets.

Steve: Didn't I offer you one?

Me: (curtly) No.

Steve: Do you want one?

Me: Yes!

Steve: Well I got the last two so you'll have to wait until you buy some more.