Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Apologies and questions


Hello my delicious readers,

I must apologise, I have been naughty.

Yep, you got it, I caved and had chips for lunch.

And, what's more, I didn't offer you lot any.

Shameful.

No, the real reason for lack of postage is:

Monday: I was sulking after Sunday's disaster.

Tuesday: I was still sulking and spent most of my time berating other people for slagging off the England team as, now correct me if I'm wrong, you support a team because you identify with them/belong with them/like them, not because they win. The key word is support people.

Add to that the organisation of an event for my entire company (that's 20,000 people) and I was a busy little bunny.

And when I am busy I tend to be very subconsciously active, you know, thinking even more bizarre things than usual.



Things going through la cervelle de Livy (that is 'Livy's Brain' in French, just to culturefy us) in the past two days:
  • Why is an orange called an orange when a carrot is in fact more orange?
  • Where are all the baby pigeons? I see plenty of adults but no chicks.
  • What is the difference between shrimp and prawns?
  • Why can I never remember the 8 times table? I can do 1 through 7 and 9 through 12 no problem but 8 just eludes me...
  • How can we have a global recession? Surely the money goes somewhere? Is there one very rich person now?
  • What did the first person to milk a cow actually think they were doing?
  • How do flies know how to get in a window but not back out?
  • If moths like light so much, why don't they just come out in the day?
  • Where is Oxford on a map? In fact, the entire middley bit of the country is a mystery to me.
  • Why is all history underground? I mean, whenever Tony Robinson looks for anything, he digs. Did the world used to be smaller or something and now we've just got extra earth on top? Where did that earth come from?
  • Where do all the teaspoons go?
  • If you get up really high and see a rainbow, is it a full circle?
  • Oh and why did I just eat chips? It wrecks the pre-wedding diet plus now I feel all greasy and yuck.
Answers on a postcard!

ps I was talking to a friend about these random unknown things and she came out with,

"I know! I mean, why does water expand when frozen when everything else contracts?"

She is a lot smarter than me. Obviously. I didn't know anything did anything when frozen....

8 comments:

Becca said...

I can't find a postcard, but here goes!

* Why is an orange called an orange when a carrot is in fact more orange?

Carrots used to be purple. The colour orange was named after the fruit, which was named after the tree, rather than an orange being called an orange because it is orange. (Do I win a prize for most frequent usage of the word orange in a sentence?)

* Where is Oxford on a map? In fact, the entire middley bit of the country is a mystery to me.

Also, why are Oxford road signs designed so that you can enter the city but never leave?

* Oh and why did I just eat chips? It wrecks the pre-wedding diet plus now I feel all greasy and yuck.

You clearly did it as a kind favour to me, so that my shoulder-angel could go "see? Chips won't make you happy. Get back to your spring greens!"

On 13 June, my dress was an inch away from zipping up. Fu...! I've been utterly beasting myself, and my sister is coming over to help me try it again this weekend. Nightmare!

Gaynor said...

Love your random questions!

Sorry about the chips; im not a fan of them so dont have that problem, just with chocolate instead!

Christie said...

I have at some point thought all of those things, except the teaspoon one. My disappearing cutlery is forks, it genuinely baffles me!

And I sympathise with the chip issue, I am currently on my second box of mini eggs. They come from a charity machine so I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay. It clearly isn't!!

S said...

I ate a cheeseburger with bacon and chips yesterday and guess what? I lost 4 pounds today. Yay!
I'll try that again.

anna and the ring said...

How have I not found you before?

I have no idea where the teaspoons go!

I wish I could accept the dieting need! Gah!

Livy said...

Tell me about the dieting need - I really need to get my arse in gear (and shape!!, for months now I have caved to the lure of creamy pasta and mashed potato and cheese. NO MORE!

Well, after this weekend....

Let me know how the dress goes Becca!

Christie, the mini eggs are fine. Totally fine, probably count as a fruit portion somehow...

And S - tell me your secret!!

Slice of Pie said...

You are correct, there will be no dieting this weekend Livster we are sitting in the sun on Sunday drinking cocktails (not sure what we are eating yet but it wont be diet shaped!)See you at the station! Eeek x

Mad Hatter Bride said...

Chiiiiiiiips

I'm sorry were you saying something? I was distracted by the chiiiiips...

I think you will find that the global recession is fundamentally linked to the fact that most of history is undergound. You see the globe recedes in on itself, kind of like quick sand and soon we will all be buried awaiting future Tony Robinsons to come dig us up.

Some of that may be untrue.

I miss Baldrick.