Here is my review of the book Life of Pi, which is merely a play-by-play of all the things I've said to S while reading it (and his increasingly exasperated responses), and which, also, contains many spoilers. You'll note my tone, which is a clear indication of how much I enjoyed the book.
Me: "S, this Indian kid is Muslim, Catholic, and Hindu!"
S: "I don't think it works that way."
Me: "He just loves God, that's why. He likes all the ways to love God."
Me: "His father owns a zoo! And so he grew up with all those animals! And his dad made him watch a hungry tiger eat a goat, so that he would understand how mean tigers are even when they appear tame!"
S: "That's kind of ruthless. Also, is this book just about belonging to three religions and growing up in a zoo?"
Me: "So far!"
Me: "S, HE WAS ON A SHIP WITH ALL THE ANIMALS GOING TO CANADA AND IT SANK! THE SHIP SANK! AND HE'S ON A LIFEBOAT WITH A TIGER!"
S: "How did the tiger get on the lifeboat?"
Me: "He helped it get on there!"
Me: "He was confused! There's a zebra on there too, and a hyena, and an orangutan! And the tiger's name is Richard Parker!"
S: "Isn't it orangutang? And isn't Richard Parker a stupid name for a tiger?"
Me: "No! And no!"
Me: "S! The hyena ate the zebra and the orangutang, and the tiger ate the hyena! And now he wants to eat the boy!"
S: "That makes sense."
Me: "He's trying to train the tiger! So it won't eat him!"
S: "What? Who's trying to train a tiger?"
Me: "Pi! Are you sleeping?"
S: "I was."
Me: "He's training the tiger like in a circus, so it won't eat him! And he tried to eat its faeces!"
Me: "They're going to starve to death and they're going blind!"
S: "Who is?"
Me: "Pi and the tiger! They can only eat raw fish and turtles and they haven't caught any and they're starving and all the salt's making them go blind!"
S: "Is that whole book about a boy and a tiger floating around in a lifeboat?"
Me: "I think so!"
S: "That's really boring."
Me: "No it's not! It's like the movie 'Castaway' only better because there's a TIGER!"
Me: "S, HE FOUND ANOTHER PERSON AND THE OTHER PERSON TRIED TO EAT HIM AND SO THEN THE TIGER ATE HIM!"
S: "Ate who?"
Me: "RICHARD PARKER! HE ATE THE PERSON WHO TRIED TO EAT PI! ATE HIM!"
S: "Well, at least the bloody tiger served some purpose in the story besides making you think that an otherwise boring book is good just because it has a tiger in it."
Me: "I will kill you."
Me: "They found an island with meerkats and fresh water!"
S: "Are the meerkats the ones from the 'Compare the Market' adverts?"
S: "Sorry, what did you say?"
Me: "They are on an island!"
S: "So now they really are castaways."
Me: "No, they had to leave because it was poison!"
S: "What was poison?"
Me: "The island! It ATE people!"
S: "I'm going to bed."
------Me: (crying) "S, I'm crying."
S: (long sigh) "Why are you crying?"
Me: "Richard Parker left. They got to Mexico and he left. And he didn't even say goodbye."
S: "He's a tiger. They don't talk. And it's midnight, can we please turn off the lights?"
Me: "He left." (sniffle) "He left, S. They were on the boat together for like 290 days and then he just left. Why would he do that?"
S: "Because he's a tiger."
Me: "I love this book."
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